foodtrucker: waking up and getting up are two very very different things
americanonline: americanonline: look at how frickin content this snail is with his little stick i think we all need to calm down and look at this snail again
therisingpheonix: you’re about as irrelevant as Mean Girls 2 Wait, there was a Mean Girls 2?
Tim: You smell different...
Jenny: It's a new perfume.
Me: *Screaming at my TV* IT'S CALLED GAYYY!!!
wishcave: *opens jacket* hey u wanna buy some oh jesus fuck it’s cold *closes jacket*
viridiandreamer: ablogwithoutpants: impalas-wings: pizz4s: if you and your best friend don’t have those small gay moments i can tell you that your friendship is gonna end soon … small gay moments? we’re about an inch away from hot lesbian sex in the hallways if the whole school doesn’t think you and your best friend are fucking you’re doing it wrong Noemi
sweetguts: almost 15 years after its original explosion of popularity, pokemon’s fanbase rejoices over news you can now walk diagonally in the newest game
cnnbreaking: when you are so desperate you go to the second page of google results
jpierrepontcriss: my mom was pulling into a parking space today and she asked “am i relatively straight?” and i said “i think that’s something you need to decide for yourself” and she told me to walk home
meladoodle: *throws coins at strippers really hard*
lameborghini: will commit illegal crimes in exchange for mozzarella sticks
obliviousruska: richarcl: what if instead of countries declaring war on each other there was just a big rap battle did you mean eurovision
HAVE YOU EVER JUST REALLY WANTED TO KISS SOMEONE BUT YOU CANT
spookymormon: spookymormon: my mom always texts me rude things so ive just started replying with an emoji of an eggplant and it gets her so pissed it’s great
radsturbate: *reblogs post before i finish reading it* wait shit i don’t agree with that
dirtybongobeats: lowkeat: Today in science we learned that you can never gain cold, you can only have an absence of heat; and it made me think that maybe hatred doesn’t exist, and there’s only an absence of love. this is the realist shit I’ve ever read
luminescent-love: youaresogayskarth: finnickodaired: barackinaroundthechristmastree: WHAT COLOR ARE MIRRORS let’s reflect on this fun fact! mirrors reflect each color equally, except for green. if you have ever seen a mirror perfectly aligned in front of another mirror, a.k.a. an infinite mirror, you can look through it and see that it becomes greener and greener. therefore, mirrors...
nickiyuuup: People are far too concerned with the sexual orientation of people they aren’t having sex with.
forever-classyx: Oh my gosh people, be nice to your waiter/waitress, it’s not their fault that your food is cold or if it’s under cooked. Be nice to the cashiers who are still training and can’t ring up your items as quickly as you want. If a stranger smiles and says hello to you, smile and say hello back! It’s just common courtesy, I don’t understand why people have to be so rude.
I will pour your tea, And make sure it’s lukewarm, I will brush the hair out of your face, And smile at your gaze, I will make your bed, And lie there with you, embraced, I will cleanse your soul, And get rid of all the aches, I will be quiet while you sleep, And keep the nightmares at ease, I will cover you with sheets, And keep you warm, our skin will meet, I will match my...